The Xavier Institute for Higher Learning

So! Guess who's been way busy the last month or three?

[He seems to have his usual pep back, though -- or at least enough of it to put up his preferred brand of brave face, the one that involves acting like he doesn't even notice that there's anything he should be bothered by.]

[Like he's not still mourning the loss of a friend and mentor, and like things aren't going to Hell in a handbasket faster than he can keep track of, and like "way busy" doesn't mean "flying all over two continents to have emergency meetings with charity workers and activists, putting himself out there for news interviews and congressional hearings, flinging relentless never-give-up optimism in one direction and fiery, righteous rage in the other with an energy that seems a little bit impossible considering that he's been on the road so much he can hardly remember not being jet lagged, or waking up and being 100% sure what language he's supposed to speak when he gets out of the hotel room, or just waking up in his own bed with his husband there making coffee." Regular news-watchers (or followers of his very active social media accounts) are very likely to have spotted him at anti-discriminations rallies in the US and half the countries in Eastern Europe in the last few months, or dressed up in a suit and throwing barely-veiled shade at political candidates on CSPAN, or doing all the damage control he can possibly manage to do on some morning show or other, made-up for the cameras and smiling cheerfully.]

I mean, I've been around a little and all, just like not as much as usual I guess. But I heard we've had some familiar faces around here lately, so like, nobody be a stranger, 'kay~?

Oh! I know we're like, halfway through Advent, but just a reminder, Holy Cross could totes always use any kids who wanna be in the Christmas Pageant. And they're having a food drive until Christmas and a Christmas dinner for the homeless, so no boring excuses, I totally wanna see people pitching in!

...Right, and like, Political Science students? I know we missed a couple classes there, and it's totally my bad, so I'm gonna move some of your assignments up to next month, and hold some seminars to make up for missed time. Friday nights, I'm thinking? You kids probably need something to keep you out of trouble on Friday nights, anyway!

So what have I been missing here? Tell me everything!

I totally know you all missed me, so I'm not even gonna bother asking about that part. Just so you know, honeymoon was kickass, there's tropical fruit-y candy in the lounge by the cafeteria, and if it's cool with the doc, you should be getting some in the infirmary soon, too. And something a little stronger in the teachers' lounge, which I'm gonna say is our official apology to everyone who's been dealing with us for years but especially the psychics.

Now... First things first! There are links at the bottom of this post to petitions for the US congress and the UN to funnel emergency funding into research on the virus, a special Red Cross relief fund, and a fund to help provide training to members of Doctors Without Borders so they're ready to deal with any cases that pop up in their areas. Even if it's just your signature or a Facebook share, whatever you can give would totally mean a lot!

Moving on to the really important things: I'm sure you're all aware, because he won't shut up about it for like 3 seconds, that Norman Osborn is running for President.

I'm sure you're also aware that his hair is just, like, a literal crime against humanity.

Please discuss what it most reminds you of, preferably on Twitter, hashtag LooksLikeNormansHair. I'll go first.

[He holds up a photo of Osborn photoshopped with Chia Pet hair, the hashtag scrawled across the bottom in purple ink.]

[PRIVATE TO STAFF]

[...He then turns it over to reveal the original of the same photo, the words "now with ridges for Her Pleasure" written in the blank space. He gives the camera a not-even-sorry grin, then cuts the recording.]

[Feliks, sitting on the edge of a brick wall and wiggling his legs against it, grins at the camera.]

God, I'm way pumped about the concert! Everyone's coming, right? Everyone totally should be!

Also, I know this is super short notice -- I kinda meant to get something together a few weeks ago, but like, y'know, S.H.I.E.L.D, and the school going crazy, and all that stuff kind of happened, so I got a bit distracted -- but New York Pride's coming up super soon, so Fai and I were thinking it might be cool to do something for the Gender and Sexual Diversity Student Union. Like, maybe just a cute group portrait or a quick little "Happy Pride Week from the Institute" kind of video? I mean there's not a lot of time to plan, but it'd be good to do something fun.

Oh -- and, um... [He looks a little nervous and sheepish, playing with his hair.]

Does... Does anyone know a lot about taking care of ponies? I need to know because...

[There's a whinny from offscreen; Feliks turns his head towards the noise, then looks back at the camera.]

...Because, um. Reasons.

Cześć, everybody!

[Guess who's looking bright-eyed and bushy-tailed! Someone who didn't have student training to do, and spent the whole weekend in bed while you kids were out beating each other up, that's who. (Hint: It's Feliks.)]

So I was super busy until just now and I just realized, it's just a couple of weeks until I graduate? And it's totally freaking me out! I kinda felt like I'd be a student forever, right?

Who wants to help me move the rest of my stuff out of the student housing and over here later? I'd do it myself, but like, it's a lot of work and I don't wanna.

[Extremely selective work ethic, a lifestyle.]

And after that, it'll be summer, so... rad honeymoon ideas, go! If we use your idea, we'll bring you back a really awesome souvenir or something.

Oh, my God, who knew wedding planning was this much work?

[Of course, he is doing it in a fraction of the time one usually does. On top of all the things he's usually doing, and all the trouble that's been coming out of the woodwork lately.]

I need to do something else for like 5 minutes, or I swear I'm gonna beat someone to death with a super-tasteful centerpiece. So I thought, okay, let's try something totally out there for a change, let's do something for my job! Or, one of them, whatever.

So we all know the political sitch has been messed up to the max lately, and I figure some of you probably have a lot of questions about it! Especially the people who aren't getting the benefit of my kickass political science lectures. So for one afternoon, I'll be down in the common room, taking any and all questions! You're welcome.

Oh -- Costume Club, anyone who wants to help me make decorations and not Groomzilla out and punch anybody will get, like, free paluszki and my undying friendship. No sweets today, 'cause it's Lent, but I could give you a rain check for them!

[He gives the camera a shrug, and then, since he's about out of things to say, a cheerful little wave.]

It's totally almost Fat Tuesday!

I mean there's like a week left, but whatever.

The point is, I'm gonna make like a ton of pączki, and people should come eat it and hang out. I'll be taking donations for Bless the Outcasts -- that's an outreach program to promote good relations between mutants, the LGBTQ-whatver else community, and the Church -- but you don't have to give anything if you don't feel moved to. Also, anybody who's new and Catholic -- or curious about it? -- should totes come with me the next day and take cute Ash Wednesday selfies!

Oh, and also, I'm still side-eyeing the MLF pretty hard for the way things went down in California, and the whole killing people thing, but I'm probably gonna go to that rally just in case. [Because he can't stay out of trouble to save his life.]

Still looking for Mutant Agendas and Mutant Privilege stories, on that note, if anyone wants in on the activist thing without the attacking civilians thing.

Anyway, let me know!

Guess who's done with his thesis!

...Okay, well, with the rough draft, but whatever! The point is, I'm totally free until school starts again!

Also, I decided I'm gonna hang out here instead of going back to Poland for Christmas. I'm like, giving all of you the gift of hanging out with me~

And that means I'm gonna have to have Wigilia -- that's "Christmas Eve dinner" -- here! You're invited. Like, all of you. It starts when the first star comes out, 'kay?

Oh, speaking of Christmas Eve night, who's totally pumped for Midnight Mass? 'Cause I know I am! Is anybody gonna come with?

Ok, so!

It's been like, a couple of weeks since I mentioned the whole flash mob idea, and I guess we maybe got kinda distracted by the whole armed intruders thing, but me and Giselle totally came up with some great ideas for it anyway! We wanna do it just before Halloween, so who's up for a little field trip on Thursday night? Hit me up, and I'll let you in on the deets. Oh, Giselle, you're still down, right? [With a casual air, like that's not kind of a vital part of it or anything.]

A couple other things, too... So, the Costume Club? We're gonna be giving emergency advice to anybody who needs help making it work! I know, super nice, right? I'm basically pretty much a saint.

And the best for last -- are you ready? I know you're not, but I'm gonna hit you with it anyway!

You know how Creed and his Last Stand wackos whoever are always all going on about the "mutant agenda" and junk, right? So why not show them what our agenda actually is?

[He holds up a mini-whiteboard, the kind found in dormitories across the world, with My Mutant Agenda, by Feliks written on the top in a cheerful, cherry-red font. Items on the list include "finish thesis draft," "borrow Fai's top," "check papers," "make that phone call for work," "new Project Runway," "watch football match - vs. KS Cracovia!!!" and a couple of other similar points.]

Bam! It's like, the next phase of Mutants Aren't Monsters -- the My Mutant Agenda campaign. You should all totally let me know what your agendas are, and we can like, make posters and youtube videos and junk!

Oh, and also my birthday is next month, so you can all start preparing tribute or whatever. Just an FYI.

( Locked to people who have expressed interest in the flash mob! )

Hey!

So like, I've been thinking. I know Mutants Aren't Monsters has been kinda quiet lately, 'cause I've been studying and X-man-ing and in Europe and stuff, but with all this stuff going down lately, I totally wanna get back on it.

Who wants to do a flash mob? It'll be super fun!

Oh, and like, my confessor was all like "the Hail Marys are cool for God but maybe like apologize to your schoolmates too" and stuff, so, um...

Sorry for drunk texting everyone! I made cheesecake, it's in the lounge closest to the dining room.

[That's an apology, right? He grins, a little nervously like he's not used to doing this, and waves a little before the message ends. If you'd prefer action, he'll be in the lounge with the candlestick cheesecake.]

[The camera clicks on to show Feliks, grinning bright as the summer sun, outside near the lake. He's wearing red shorts, a thin white top, and no shoes.]

Hey, guess who's totally back from Europe? I had the raddest time-- I have souvenirs for a ton of you, so don't let me forget to give them to you and tell you all about it, ok?

For the new people, I'm Feliks Łukasiewicz. I'm like, in my last year of college, but I don't actually have a ton of classes this year? So I'm TA-ing for Political Science and doing some other stuff to keep me from getting too bored. If anyone's up for Polish lessons, they can totally hit me up for that, too, I guess!

But anyway-- Toph is lame and challenged me to do the ice bucket thing. She did two buckets, and I figure, no big deal, it's just water anyway or whatever, so I'm gonna do three! And I'm gonna donate $100 anyway.

( Cut for length, swearing, and mild blasphemy. )