The Xavier Institute for Higher Learning

[Sol, unsurprisingly, looks pretty grumpy. He's also not wearing a shirt, but it's for demonstration purposes.]

Okay, I'm sure a bunch of you idiots have heard about some bullshit called a "paleo" diet or people telling you to go "gluten-free" because of...I don't fucking know, but anyway. If they tell you that's the only thing holding you back from looking like this [He motions to himself for emphasis], they're wrong. They're also idiots, so don't listen to them. [He pauses, then sighs.]

It also won't give you super strength. No diet will do that. [He leans in like he's addressing someone in particular.] You know who you are, dumbass.

[There is one Sol Badguy, surrounded by piles of Valentine's chocolate.]

You know what's great about this bullshit holiday? This. [He pops a candy into his mouth and continues talking while chewing.] Don't have to get involved with anyone and I get my own chocolate.

Before you ankle biters ask, no, you can't have any. [It becomes apparent most of those boxes are empty...he's eaten most of the pile in a single day.] Go buy your own or sucker someone into giving some to you.

[He stops eating the candy for a moment because he remembered something.]

Oh yeah, as a reminder: I'm the only one that can eat in the lab. Don't try to be sneaky about it, either. I'm not stupid.