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[fuckuimametalbender]

[This is not how she wanted to introduce herself to the newbies.

This is really not how she wanted to introduce herself to the newbies.

Damn you everyone on her Facebook. (You know who you are.)

Toph is outside in work-out gear, so unamused. Bender is standing nearby.]

So. My dear and loving family has decided that I'm not allowed to do a normal "I'm a teacher get over it" post today. My dear and loving family has decided to nominate me for the ALS ice bucket challenge with the stipulation that I do it on the intranet and send them a copy.

[Screw all of them]

I’m Toph Beifong, one of the combat teachers for you newbies. Yes, I’m blind. [Bender barks] Yes, I have a seeing eye dog. No, you are not going to get away with anything in my class. Yes, it’s mandatory for everyone, even you psychics. I teach basic stuff, stuff you can use to keep your butt safe, so you can deal.

[Off camera:] Okay, do it.

[Two random students run out with buckets, dumping the ice water all over Toph, who shivers and swears in Chinese and English before holding her hand out for a towel]

That sucks. Like, a lot. Feliks, you're it. If you're in my class and do it on camera so I can hear, I'll give you a "get out of test free" card.

[She heads off, needing a hot shower and tea]

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[whosafraidofthe]

So… this is going to be an awkward introduction.

[Enter a big scruffy man on the comm, looking pretty meek for how gruff and manly his appearance is. And then he clears his throat, and the authority kicks in.]

My name is Bigby Wolf, and I’m a combat trainer here for the older kids starting this semester. A little higher level than what Beifong's teaching, but it should be easy to pick up. Some of you may already know me as, uh… [He hesitates a bit.] …The Big Bad Wolf. And there are a lot of rumors circling because of that, but I assure you I wouldn’t get a position here unless Xavier trusted me. He especially wouldn’t let me near kids if he thought I was still…

[Eating them. He rubs the back of his neck awkwardly.]

Let’s see, what can I tell you… I was a sheriff over in District X until I came here, so I’ve got plenty of experience catching criminals. Even caught a few of… well, I guess around here you call ‘em supervillains. I guess you could kind of call me one of those two… or an ex-villain, at least.

[A nervous chuckle ends in him popping out a carton of Huff’n’Puffs and lighting himself a cigarette.] I understand a lot of people are going to be nervous around me, I’m not going to stop them from voicing complaints. But the class is optional, so you don’t have to be near me if you don’t want to be. For whatever reason.