1st Dragon ~ Video

[theveilisin]

My dear fellow students and esteemed staff members, can you possibly imagine what it's like to finally have the wealth of the entire internet to explore, after only every having access to what you could call the abbreviated version?

[Well, that is certainly a way of introducing yourself. Luvander is straddling a chair, draped over the backrest, and he's grinning expansively at the camera. The accents suggests eastern Europe, and the elaborate top hat on his head suggests that he's confused about what century it is.]

And if you didn't answer 'terrifying' to that question after some careful consideration, I honestly fear for your sanity. From what I've surmised so far, about two thirds of anything that isn't porn seems to consist of people religiously recording their pets, and that's the least alarming part. Oh, and bear in mind now that I am disregarding the instances where people apparently combine the porn with the pets.

[Luvander, do you have a point there? At all?]

The point- [Ah, there it is.] -is that I honestly have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing here. You could say that I am somewhat of a novice when it comes to social media, if you will. Twitter appears inane, Facebook seems to be a very polite way of stalking your loved ones, Tumblr scares me, and whatever that Reddit place is supposed to be, I can honestly say that I really don't want to know.

[For someone who doesn't understand what he's doing, he certainly seems to have a lot to say about it, at least.] So for now, I am limiting myself to the school network, in hopes that if I embarrass myself in some hideous fashion here, that is a completely ordinary occurrence in American high schools... at least if I'm to believe the movies.

Oh, and I suppose the lot of you can give me some tips? I have unlimited Google at my disposal and I feel I haven't been quite traumatized enough yet, so why don't you hit me with the best you've got?

Comments

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[denialism]

Yeah, that all sucks. Try Project Free TV. And putlocker. That's where you can watch all the stuff.

[He hates social media. He just wants free movies.]

Uh yeah, about the porn...

[Wait, should he not mention porn to a student? The student mentioned it first! Anyway, it's his job.]

I mean—adult materials. I'm supposed to let you know that you'll be in trouble if you get to any of that, even on your own device. So, now you know!

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[theveilisin]

Oh! I have so many movies to catch up on now that there are no censors to stop me. Sir, I quite possibly owe you my firstborn - which admittedly is somewhat of a pointless promise, since I'm fairly certain I'll never have one.

[Luvander looks rather incredibly amused at the... well, he can't call something that halfhearted a reprimand, can he? A mild admonishment, at the very most.]

My dear, I'm fifteen years old and I've been surrounded by prostitutes on a fairly regular basis before coming hehre. I'm fairly certain there is no porn in the world which will morally corrupt me even further, but I thank you for the warning.

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[denialism]

No problem, since I don't want kids! So that works out. Just watch Goodfellas in my honor.

Oh right, I don't think you're going to get corrupted or anything, just warning you, the guys in charge are going to get on your case. Since you're under eighteen. That's kind of the law here.

[It's not like he cares if kids watch porn. He's not allowed to look at objectionable materials while on campus either, but that's another matter.]

They could take away your internet, and then you wouldn't have movies.

[video]

[teufelskerl]

... I feel I should remind you zhat looking up pornographic materials is against zhe terms of service, mein freund.

[video]

[theveilisin]

[Luvander raises his hands in the very picture of innocence, eyes widening just a touch too theatrically.]

You say that as if you think I went looking for it! A more correct surmise of the situation was that it practically was sprung upon me the moment I typed a few innocent words into the search engine. Really, I feel I need to point out that I'm practically a victim here, if anything.

[He's so full of shit, it's a wonder his eyes aren't brown.]

Re: [video]

[teufelskerl]

... You should consider joining zhe drama club. [Because that was some grade A bullshit, son.]

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[divine_spirits_universe]

[Miko can't help but shake her head a little.]

Those places are nothing compared to 2chan and it's American brother 4chan. But who in this day and age can't handle the internet? It's an amazing recourse.

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[theveilisin]

I have not ventured this far into the deep end yet, but in this instance, I have a feeling that ignorance might be bliss.

[Really, he hadn't expected to be quite so surprised and even appalled by the sheer amount of madness out there.]

But terror notwithstanding, I'm finding that I enjoy it so far. There is a certain freedom involved in people being allowed to be exactly as stupid as they wish, no?

[Video]

[batteredbatter]

The internet is for [Porn?] keeping up to date with all your friends and looking up facts you don't know about stuff! It's really helpful!

[...Koshi, you naive, naive baby.]

[Video]

[theveilisin]

[Luvander is an internet newbie, and even he thinks 'oh, sweet summer child' at this response.]

I'm starting to appraise myself of looking things up, but I think perhaps I need to make a couple of more knowledgeable friends before the former will be relevant to me.

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[nightsparrow]

[Basically, all Mystia heard was "internet".]

Go to my YouTube channel! It doesn't suck like everything else you're talking about.

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[theveilisin]

[Luvander looks amused, to say the least, leaning his chin in his hand.]

Well, I only really have your word for it, but I suppose that 'doesn't suck' is as good a qualification as any, provided you're not too picky.

[realmenknitplushies]

Huh. I could probably give ya a few cool places to find videos 'n all that, but... yeah. I don't bother with half'a that stuff either. There's enough dumbasses in the world without tryin' to deal with the ones online.

[...And most of Kanji's Youtube favourites are either craft tutorials or cute animals doing adorable things in any case.]

[theveilisin]

I'd imagine the dumbasses out in the world are the same as the ones on the Internet, but at least in the real world it's possible to punch them. And on the Internet, at least it's possible to just scroll past and save yourself the headache. But yes, any tips would be greatly appreciated.

[Enlighten the boy who learned hat making by cannibalizing furniture in the joys of craft videos. You know you want to.]

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[deceases]

Facebook might be perfect for you, actually.

[ Since Twitter's character limit can't match Luvander's speech waterfalls, of course.. Natsuno's wisened up to his ways, okay. ]

It's a place you could post all the inane stuff you usually talk about and people can just ignore it if they don't care. You know, instead of saddling up people [ CERTAIN.. PEOPLE.. like.. you know, Natsuno himself ] up with it whether they like it or not. Have some mercy on us that way at least, yeah?

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[theveilisin]

[Natsuno, if you're really that opposed to Luvander's company... why are you talking to him when you don't have to? All this gains you is a faintly smug look because honestly, that falls under the heading of protesting too much.]

Well, my dear, as much as I enjoy the medium of writing as a way of expressing your opinion in a more pre-meditated manner - as little as people on the Internet seems to use it as such, since randomly smashing down keys and occasionally accomplishing profanities seems to serve them just as well... Well, it's not quite the same as the discourse of human to human, do you see?

Though I do take some heart in that you, at least, seem incapable of ignoring me so far, even when I'm not actually in the same room, so maybe I should consider your kind little tip.

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[ladyliberty]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5KucuM8bzc

this movies really popular i think youll love it

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[theveilisin]

[She's absolutely right. He's wondered sometimes why even movies he would have classified as "for children" have a tendency to get stuck in the teeth of the censors, and suddenly he's very clear on why.]

My dear, I am forever in your debt. It seems I have indeed missed out on a lot more than I previously would have imagined.

[text]

[leyabout]

watch anime

[That's it, that's the extent of her suggestion.]

[text]

[theveilisin]

Though I realize that the wealth of all knowledge is currently at my fingertips, perhaps you would nonetheless be so kind as to enlighten me: What in Regina's name is that?

[Look, the censors of his country didn't let through anything they didn't fully understand, just in case. Anime is a closed book in a locked shelf in an abandoned library to him.]

[Voice]

[defibrillating]

Just stay away from WebMD. For my sanity, if you please.

[Luvander may be the heal-y kid but he doesn't need him to diagnose the rest of the school and start hypochondria waves.]

...also, as a medic, I should probably mention that most porn out there - that you should not be watching - is unrealistic and fake.

[Listen to the giant purple virgin, okay?]

[Voice]

[theveilisin]

[Luvander takes a moment to google this strange new thing, of course, and then he's laughing.]

That would be spectacularly unhelpful to me, actually. I can tell if something is wrong with someone just by touching them, but unless I've actually felt it before, I probably won't be able to tell what. No amount of reading is going to help that.

[And then he's going to... laugh some more.]

I'm perfectly aware, my dear. I grew up in barracks with not much privacy with a group of hormonal teenagers. I'm a bit too intimately aware of such things.

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[vermis]

Hello Luvander. I hope you've been doing well. I have a few ideas for positive sites you might like.

This one always makes me smile.
We tend to focus on the negative in the news, but that's only part of the story.
Poets and poetry.
Free books for everyone!

I hope that helps.

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[theveilisin]

[In this moment, Luvander is horribly torn between three different thoughts. The first is simply, "Bastion, this guy is adorable", the second is "Shit but the guys back home would have eaten him alive" and the third is "I AM GOING TO BE EATEN ALIVE BY THESE PAGES". All in all, it's a pretty fulfilling experience.]

I'm going to assume, judging by this, that you in fact dislike me so severely that you wish me to never leave my computer screen again.
I'm deeply hurt.

[Text]

[killadeadman]

too long didn't watch. skipped to end.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfP_rJ7Jn84

[That's followed by a link to Angry Avians and Team Citadel 2]