Audio

[whosafraidofthe]

I guess now that everyone's settled I should make a note of this:

I have wolf senses. If you decide to smoke or drink, I can smell it across campus. I will probably patrol once in a while. So anyone who wants to smuggle that in and be the cool kid is going to have to try that much harder to get past me.

On the other hand, if you absolutely have to try it, at least do it around an adult. I personally don't mind keeping you safe while you're doing something stupid, I can't exactly deny being a hypocrit. I do mind having to pull you out of a ditch because no one was there to keep you safe.

Anything harder than that, though, will not be getting past me.

Comments

[whosafraidofthe]

...When you put it like that...

[private]

[seduceme]

I believe the phrase in English is "you need to get laid."

[private]

[whosafraidofthe]

And I suppose you're offering.

[It's like he's testing himself to see how much "I don't want this" he can put into one tone of voice.]

Because no one else is.

[seduceme]

Actually, I was going to suggest a little establishment in the city...

[Can you hear that laughter in her voice? Can you?]

[whosafraidofthe]

I'm sworn off of those. And believe me, if you'd lived through what I have you would be too.

[Maybe if he's honest she'll stop, he tells himself hopefully.]

[seduceme]

[When has THAT ever worked?]

But that's all in the past now. Or if you'd rather not visit a brothel, I do remember a call centre...

[whosafraidofthe]

I don't go for working girls.

[Which is said with not only force but a growl.]

[seduceme]

... You prefer boys?

[whosafraidofthe]

That's not what I meant and you know it.

[seduceme]

You never know...

[whosafraidofthe]

[He snarls, and then forces himself to be calm enough to speak.]

Look, the last time I had to deal with a working girl it was because a man who nearly killed me was beating her. The next day I found her head on the steps in front of my apartment. Because I didn't have enough money and Woody hadn't planned to pay to begin with. Forgive me if I'm not thrilled about getting teased about brothels.

[seduceme]

... That seems rather excessive.

[whosafraidofthe]

[...He calms down a bit.]

That's all you've got to say?

[seduceme]

What am I supposed to say? It's in the past.

[whosafraidofthe]

[He snorts, but continues to cool down.]

Some things are easier to let go than others.

[seduceme]

You say that as if you're truly troubled by a few dismembered body parts. [Bigby, sometimes she doesn't get you.]

[whosafraidofthe]

...

[He sighs.]

It's different. The people I ate were a different species to me. She wasn't. She... [Huff.] It's complicated. And I can't imagine you care that much.

[seduceme]

I don't understand the sentiment, that's all. [She's shrugging with her voice, how-]

[whosafraidofthe]

[A long pause.]

She died because of Woody, Woody hurt her because he didn't get fame for nearly killing the Big Bad Wolf and turned into a stupid drunken asshole. It's my fault she's dead, because I am who I am. And it's different than me eating people because I... I was sheriff by then, I was already used to humans being the same species as me. It's different when you care about someone being alive.

[Never has he sounded more like a bleeding heart than this moment.]

[seduceme]

So... you're blaming yourself for the death of this woman 'oo was killed because a man turned to drink for being unable to kill you, thereby equating this girl's death with your survival.

[A short pause.]

Forgive me, mon ami, but that is idiotic.

[whosafraidofthe]

That's not the worst thing I've been called for it.

[seduceme]

You're being a martyr. [Another roll of the eyes.] You definitely need to dip your wick, soon.

[whosafraidofthe]

If you really think it'll help that much then find me a girl who's willing, and not because she's getting paid by the hour. So far I've been doing just fine with a wolf's share of whiskey.

[seduceme]

Challenge accepted, wish me luck~

[Yeah, she's going to find you a one night stand.]

[whosafraidofthe]

[Oh god this is it this is how he dies. Death by Chris-induced panic attack.]