1st Bullet [video]

[seduceme]

[Darling students and whoever feels like seeing this spectacle on the network, here is your tiny blue-covered teacher with the froggy French accent, for once without a cigarette in her mouth.]

Bonjour! For those of you 'oo 'ave yet to meet me, I am Christelle Desrosiers and I will be teaching beginners and intermediate French as well as Spanish. On that note, if any of you decide to sing 'Lady Marmalade' in class, there will be consequences. [She hates that song, okay, it's been garbled terribly everywhere.]

I am partial to roses and good quality wine if you wish to try your 'ands at bribery, but the chances of it improving your grades are... [Shrugs]

Your 'omework for the first class is to 'ave the textbooks and to show up to class on time. I'm sure you can manage that much, ouis?

If you 'ave any questions regarding the course that aren't explained in the syllabus, you may email me them. Provided they are legitimate, sensible questions that 'ave yet to be addressed elsewhere, I will answer them.

Comments

[whosafraidofthe]

I don't think your cookies are that good. It's the tasteless humor that won you the brownie points.

[seduceme]

I think it's more concerning that you find my tasteless 'umor more enjoyable than my cookies. I'd offer you something more 'full-bodied', but that might be a bit more noticeable than gingerbread men.

[whosafraidofthe]

I don't have much of a sweet tooth. I'm more of a savory man.

When exactly are you going to run out of ways to joke about me eating people?

[seduceme]

I'm not sure, but when I do it will be a sad, sad day.

[She does look thoughtful about the savory part.]

[whosafraidofthe]

Not for me, it won't be.

[He rolls his eyes.]

I've gotten enough of this in Mutant Town. I have no goddamn patience for you pulling it, too.

[seduceme]

Doesn't it make you feel like you never left? [BEAMING.]

[whosafraidofthe]

Yes. Like I never made any progress at all.

[He's starting to feel much more annoyed now.]

Did you know you've managed to get on my nerves more than the man using my apartment to hide from the law because I ate his brothers?

[private]

[seduceme]

[She keys in a few commands so they're on a private channel and comments drily:] You know, your past would be better kept in the past rather than explicitly spelt out for everyone to know if you would be at least a bit less blunt in language where just anyone could listen in.

As for that charmer... Is 'e still there, by the way? There are ways to get rid of one's unwanted guests... [She's actually seriously offering to off his problem.]

[private]

[whosafraidofthe]

[He lets out a deep sigh.]

It's not big news, he's been hiding there for years. And.. I do owe him. God knows he never let's me live it down.

[seduceme]

[The look on her face is skeptical at best but then she eventually shrugs.] If you say so. But if you need 'im to disappear... Well, you 'ave my number.

[whosafraidofthe]

Even if I did need that I could handle it myself. We both know I have no trouble killing people.

[They also both probably know he is an absolute doormat to everyone he's committed crimes against. Collin has him wrapped around his hoof.]

[seduceme]

Ouais, but I'm more capable of leaving a trail for police to follow away from here.

[For a guy who's constantly threatening to hand her ass to her, he really is a doormat sometimes.]

[whosafraidofthe]

I'm sure you are, but one, I am part of the police force, and two, Collin is literally a pig. If his mutation ever let him be human it might be necessary to create a false trail, but as is...

[seduceme]

... You could make a considerable donation to the 'omeless with a sizeable free meal one day...

[whosafraidofthe]

...That doesn't sound like a bad idea.

[Spoilers he will never act on it.]

[seduceme]

[He is a major party pooper.]

If it will soothe your 'guilty conscience', then I suppose that is the way to go. [Le Shrug.] And then you can keep an eye out for any particularly tender looking people amongst them for future nibbles.

[whosafraidofthe]

Again with the cannibal jokes, huh. I hope this isn't your version of flirting.

[seduceme]

Mon cher, if I were to flirt with you, there would be no subtletly to it.

Subtlety would only fly over your 'ead in any case.

[whosafraidofthe]

I'm not clueless. I'm built for picking up hints.

[It would fly right over his head.]

And I've had a girl flirt with me because she liked how dangerous I am. I wouldn't be surprised if you tried the same thing.

[seduceme]

I do like my men dangerous but with a bit more mystery as well. I think you're safe.

[whosafraidofthe]

Maybe I'd be mysterious if you hadn't spend three hours on google preparing for a year's supply of pissing me off.

[seduceme]

Please, google is or amateurs.

... Unless you're actually complaining that I don't find you mysterious enough to flirt with?

[whosafraidofthe]

Of course I'm not.

[The disapproving grimace might be going a bit overboard, but he covers it up by moodily lighting a new cigarette.]

I'm just pointing out that you ruined your own chances of finding me mysterious. It's not my fault if you ruined the fun for yourself.

[seduceme]

Some'ow I get the feeling my advances would 'ave been unwelcome in any case. [Smirks and shrugs.]

[whosafraidofthe]

[...He takes a moment to think this over.]

Less unwelcome than what I've gotten out of you. But I guess it's a little late for you to pretend you've got any good intentions.