[video]

[nyancrophile]

[Orin is still finishing one of her signature twin braids as she starts the video feed, smiling brightly into the camera.]

Heya! I've been settlin' in pretty nice, so I thought now's the time to say hello. Don't want it to get too awkward, right? I'm not the wallflower type so I'd really rather not put off introductions any longer...

So! Introduce yourselves to me. I was promised I'd meet a lot of real interesting people here, so make your cases, 'kay? It's not fun if you're all just a bunch of boring sad sacks.

[An idea seems to occur to her all of a sudden, and her tone suddenly becomes a little more urgent.]

By the way, is there like...a gardening or architecture club, or somethin'? A girl's gotta know. For reasons.

[Reasons like knowing if there's a club that wouldn't mind lending out a wheelbarrow or something similar out to her.]

Comments

[nyancrophile]

I took care of my last collection just fine! It's not like I go wastin' all my energy reanimating 'em every single day...I'd check up on 'em, find ways to make 'em more comfortable, shoot the shit about what life was like for 'em...

[Her last collection had people in it, though. A possum might have a hard time telling her how to make things more comfortable for it, what with not being able to talk and all.]

[sugoooi]

[ YEAH, ABOUT THAT. Sam blanches. ]

C...collection...

[nyancrophile]

Yeah! I get stronger the more time I spend around dead or dying people, so it's only natural I'd wanna have a place to go as a pick-me-up, right?

[sugoooi]

That's so creepy though...!! That's just using them for yourself...!

[nyancrophile]

Well, yeah, but like, isn't burying 'em using 'em for yourself too? We don't have funerals for the dead, y'know, it's to help the living feel better about dying. A long time ago people who can't talk to the dead decided what was best for them and society just sorta went with it. It's kinda interesting to talk about...some of 'em do want a funeral, but some of 'em just want someone to talk to.

[Rin Kaenbyou: corpse whisperer.]

[sugoooi]

That's what last wishes are for...! People say in their wills if they want to be buried or cremated--! [ STOP TALKING TO THE DEAD AND LEAVE THEM ALONE ]

[nyancrophile]

So you'd be okay with it if they didn't write wills? Not everybody does!

[CHEEKY GRIN.]

[sugoooi]

They usually at least tell someone what they want though...! I don't know anyone who'd wanna have their body moved around after they died!

[ STOP THAT RIGHT NOW, YOU'RE GROUNDED. ]

[nyancrophile]

But that's what the collection would be for! It's like a mass grave, y'know...like, an after-party once their life's over.

[HANG ON, ANOTHER BAD JOKE INCOMING.]

An afterlife party! Hahahaha!

[sugoooi]

Your jokes are so bad. [ SO TERRIBLE. but I laughed really hard. ]

[nyancrophile]

So bad they're good!

[No, Orin. Just bad.]

[sugoooi]

No.

You are forbidden from heckling the dead as of right now.

[nyancrophile]

I don't heckle the dead! Come oooon! What are you, my mom?

[sugoooi]

No!! I'm way more manly than that. I would be your father.

Your collected, level-headed father full of sagely advice. Like not heckling dead things.

[nyancrophile]

Ohh, so you're okay with me calling you Daddy in public? I didn't know you were that kinda person...

[sugoooi]

Fa-ther. Not daddy. Daddy sounds weird--and it's not like that! I'm just offering wisdom to misguided youths!

[nyancrophile]

Youths, huh...how old are you, anyway?

[If he's a wizard he's got to be at least 30--I MEAN...]

[sugoooi]

[ GROUNDED. Grounded forever. ]

I'm practically sixteen! This December.

[nyancrophile]

Haha, I'm 17! So how're you gonna be my dad if you're younger than me?

[sugoooi]

Wait, how are you older than me?! [ FATHERLY DREAMS. shattered. ]

[nyancrophile]

[It's a reasonable assumption to make. Orin has all the grace and maturity of a 12-year-old.]

It looks like I'm the father here after all! Wait, no, I'd be the mother...

[sugoooi]

I don't get it, how can you be older than me?! That doesn't make any sense...! [ She's so tiny and precious?? He's not even going to focus on the mother thing. This is too upsetting. ]

[nyancrophile]

[She can become even tinier and even more precious, too, but at the cost of literally being a cat.]

You're really broken up about this, huh...

[sugoooi]

[ He would prefer that, almost :'c ]

I was so sure you were younger than me...

[nyancrophile]

Well...hmm. You could still be my uncle! I mean, I was reading this book once where there were these two guys, and one of them was the other guy's uncle, but he was way younger than his nephew. That's kinda like a dad only cooler because uncles let you stay up late, right?

[By book, she means the popular manga JawJaw's Bizarre Adventure back home in Japan, but it's close enough.]