[video]

[nyancrophile]

[Orin is still finishing one of her signature twin braids as she starts the video feed, smiling brightly into the camera.]

Heya! I've been settlin' in pretty nice, so I thought now's the time to say hello. Don't want it to get too awkward, right? I'm not the wallflower type so I'd really rather not put off introductions any longer...

So! Introduce yourselves to me. I was promised I'd meet a lot of real interesting people here, so make your cases, 'kay? It's not fun if you're all just a bunch of boring sad sacks.

[An idea seems to occur to her all of a sudden, and her tone suddenly becomes a little more urgent.]

By the way, is there like...a gardening or architecture club, or somethin'? A girl's gotta know. For reasons.

[Reasons like knowing if there's a club that wouldn't mind lending out a wheelbarrow or something similar out to her.]

Comments

[nyancrophile]

So you'd be okay with it if they didn't write wills? Not everybody does!

[CHEEKY GRIN.]

[sugoooi]

They usually at least tell someone what they want though...! I don't know anyone who'd wanna have their body moved around after they died!

[ STOP THAT RIGHT NOW, YOU'RE GROUNDED. ]

[nyancrophile]

But that's what the collection would be for! It's like a mass grave, y'know...like, an after-party once their life's over.

[HANG ON, ANOTHER BAD JOKE INCOMING.]

An afterlife party! Hahahaha!

[sugoooi]

Your jokes are so bad. [ SO TERRIBLE. but I laughed really hard. ]

[nyancrophile]

So bad they're good!

[No, Orin. Just bad.]

[sugoooi]

No.

You are forbidden from heckling the dead as of right now.

[nyancrophile]

I don't heckle the dead! Come oooon! What are you, my mom?

[sugoooi]

No!! I'm way more manly than that. I would be your father.

Your collected, level-headed father full of sagely advice. Like not heckling dead things.

[nyancrophile]

Ohh, so you're okay with me calling you Daddy in public? I didn't know you were that kinda person...

[sugoooi]

Fa-ther. Not daddy. Daddy sounds weird--and it's not like that! I'm just offering wisdom to misguided youths!

[nyancrophile]

Youths, huh...how old are you, anyway?

[If he's a wizard he's got to be at least 30--I MEAN...]

[sugoooi]

[ GROUNDED. Grounded forever. ]

I'm practically sixteen! This December.

[nyancrophile]

Haha, I'm 17! So how're you gonna be my dad if you're younger than me?

[sugoooi]

Wait, how are you older than me?! [ FATHERLY DREAMS. shattered. ]

[nyancrophile]

[It's a reasonable assumption to make. Orin has all the grace and maturity of a 12-year-old.]

It looks like I'm the father here after all! Wait, no, I'd be the mother...

[sugoooi]

I don't get it, how can you be older than me?! That doesn't make any sense...! [ She's so tiny and precious?? He's not even going to focus on the mother thing. This is too upsetting. ]

[nyancrophile]

[She can become even tinier and even more precious, too, but at the cost of literally being a cat.]

You're really broken up about this, huh...

[sugoooi]

[ He would prefer that, almost :'c ]

I was so sure you were younger than me...

[nyancrophile]

Well...hmm. You could still be my uncle! I mean, I was reading this book once where there were these two guys, and one of them was the other guy's uncle, but he was way younger than his nephew. That's kinda like a dad only cooler because uncles let you stay up late, right?

[By book, she means the popular manga JawJaw's Bizarre Adventure back home in Japan, but it's close enough.]

[sugoooi]

...Well... I guess...

But only if you got all your homework done. [ Because that is what would really be important here, never mind the dead bodies etc. ]

[nyancrophile]

[Orin sighs exaggeratedly.]

Yeah, yeah, Uncle Wizard, I'll get my homework done...probably.

[She has other, important things to do, too! Like...take naps. And text her friends.]

[sugoooi]

[ Worst niece ever, that's so irresponsible. ]

And no dead things!

[nyancrophile]

What?! Come on, you're not gonna make me give up on the dead things!

[sugoooi]

They're already dead, don't be mean to them!

[nyancrophile]

Who says I'm mean?! I had a whole collection of friends back before I was in school, y'know, and I was real nice to them! I didn't make 'em do anything they didn't wanna do, and mostly all we did was talk...

[Orin takes a slightly more serious tone. It might be the first time she's ever taken anything seriously this entire conversation.]

My only friends were corpses for a long time, so I wouldn't do somethin' like that to 'em!