Video

[fuckuimametalbender]

[This is not how she wanted to introduce herself to the newbies.

This is really not how she wanted to introduce herself to the newbies.

Damn you everyone on her Facebook. (You know who you are.)

Toph is outside in work-out gear, so unamused. Bender is standing nearby.]

So. My dear and loving family has decided that I'm not allowed to do a normal "I'm a teacher get over it" post today. My dear and loving family has decided to nominate me for the ALS ice bucket challenge with the stipulation that I do it on the intranet and send them a copy.

[Screw all of them]

I’m Toph Beifong, one of the combat teachers for you newbies. Yes, I’m blind. [Bender barks] Yes, I have a seeing eye dog. No, you are not going to get away with anything in my class. Yes, it’s mandatory for everyone, even you psychics. I teach basic stuff, stuff you can use to keep your butt safe, so you can deal.

[Off camera:] Okay, do it.

[Two random students run out with buckets, dumping the ice water all over Toph, who shivers and swears in Chinese and English before holding her hand out for a towel]

That sucks. Like, a lot. Feliks, you're it. If you're in my class and do it on camera so I can hear, I'll give you a "get out of test free" card.

[She heads off, needing a hot shower and tea]

Comments

[Voice]

[fuckuimametalbender]

[Okay, Toph snorts a little]

And your teacher is blind. I'm sorry, that's kinda hilarious.

[Voice]

[usedforcepalm]

It is kind of a funny coincidence.

[Pause. She wants to be respectful but she's dying to know.]

If you don't mind me asking, what did you do to get around not being able to see when you were first learning martial arts? It seems like it would be really hard until you mastered all the basic forms.

[Voice]

[fuckuimametalbender]

My sensei moved my body to the right positions and used little artist models, those wooden ones with all the joints. He'd put them in the positions and let me feel how I was supposed to stand.

[Voice]

[usedforcepalm]

That's a neat way of learning. How long have you been training for?

[Voice]

[fuckuimametalbender]

Uh....geez, fourteen years? Something like that, I was really young and really hyper and my parents figured that it was better to bring a sensei to the manor than have me break stuff.

[Voice]

[usedforcepalm]

That's one way of keeping you busy. I just started copying my father while he was training one day and he started training me from there.

[Voice]

[fuckuimametalbender]

Yeah, my parents didn't want me to do anything fun until I begged them or broke enough things.

[Voice]

[usedforcepalm]

Why wouldn't they want you to have fun? I mean, expecting you to do homework and things before you had fun is one thing, but they didn't let you play sports or have toys?

[Voice]

[fuckuimametalbender]

Only soft toys so I wouldn't "hurt myself".

[Which sucked.]

Are you old enough to remember that whole Beifong trial, with the guy who kidnapped kids from his daughter's school trying to get her back and stuff? Came out that he'd kept said daughter hidden from the world on his estate for the first twelve years of her life?

Yeah, that was my dad.

[Voice]

[usedforcepalm]

I'm ten, so I don't remember that. I'm sorry that happened to you, Sifu Toph.

[Voice]

[fuckuimametalbender]

It's probably in some news archives somewhere, you can look it up if you're interested. And hey, it happened. I'm over it, and I got the manor out of it.

[Voice]

[usedforcepalm]

Why were the other kids kidnapped if he was trying to get you back?

[That seems weird to her. Even weirder than isolating his own child from the world, because he could get in trouble for kidnapping other people's children.]

[Voice]

[fuckuimametalbender]

Because he hired money hungry idiots who saw mutant kids as a way to get rich real quick. Instead, they just got dead real quick.

[Voice]

[usedforcepalm]

That doesn't seem like a smart idea at all. With some powers, it would be easy to kill by accident much less on purpose.

[Voice]

[fuckuimametalbender]

Exactly. We were stinkin' rich, but man was my dad a cheapskate.

[Voice]

[usedforcepalm]

Did he find them on Craigslist or something? If they were smart thugs, they could have just ransomed you for more money than what he was originally offering.

[Voice]

[fuckuimametalbender]

Apparently one of my less-than-intelligent cousins hooked him up, at least that's what they testified to in court. They were really freakin' dumb.

[Voice]

[usedforcepalm]

Were the other mutant kids they kidnapped also from rich families?

[Voice]

[fuckuimametalbender]

Not really, it was random. These guys were really freaking stupid.

[Voice]

[usedforcepalm]

So they didn't even know if the mutants they were kidnapping had anyone who'd be able to pay a big ransom for them? That is stupid.

[Voice]

[fuckuimametalbender]

Yep. But hey, their stupid let me win the case so. Y'know. Works for me!

[Voice]

[usedforcepalm]

[It's going to be a little odd training under a combat instructor with a sense of humour after training under her father for so long, but Hanabi finds she doesn't mind it. It's helping her to relax, even with talking about kidnappers.]

Too bad all criminals can't be that stupid. It would make it easier for everyone.

[Voice]

[fuckuimametalbender]

Seriously. But then there'd be no fun in kicking their asses if they were all idiots.

[Voice]

[usedforcepalm]

What if they were good at fighting, but just not very bright?

[Voice]

[fuckuimametalbender]

Nah, see, you don't want an idiot who can fight. They're unpredictable and can hurt you more than someone who isn't a moron. Big and stupid works if you just need them to sit around and be scary but actually fighting? Get someone with enough brains to know when to quit.