Video

[fuckuimametalbender]

[This is not how she wanted to introduce herself to the newbies.

This is really not how she wanted to introduce herself to the newbies.

Damn you everyone on her Facebook. (You know who you are.)

Toph is outside in work-out gear, so unamused. Bender is standing nearby.]

So. My dear and loving family has decided that I'm not allowed to do a normal "I'm a teacher get over it" post today. My dear and loving family has decided to nominate me for the ALS ice bucket challenge with the stipulation that I do it on the intranet and send them a copy.

[Screw all of them]

I’m Toph Beifong, one of the combat teachers for you newbies. Yes, I’m blind. [Bender barks] Yes, I have a seeing eye dog. No, you are not going to get away with anything in my class. Yes, it’s mandatory for everyone, even you psychics. I teach basic stuff, stuff you can use to keep your butt safe, so you can deal.

[Off camera:] Okay, do it.

[Two random students run out with buckets, dumping the ice water all over Toph, who shivers and swears in Chinese and English before holding her hand out for a towel]

That sucks. Like, a lot. Feliks, you're it. If you're in my class and do it on camera so I can hear, I'll give you a "get out of test free" card.

[She heads off, needing a hot shower and tea]

Comments

[Voice]

[usedforcepalm]

So they didn't even know if the mutants they were kidnapping had anyone who'd be able to pay a big ransom for them? That is stupid.

[Voice]

[fuckuimametalbender]

Yep. But hey, their stupid let me win the case so. Y'know. Works for me!

[Voice]

[usedforcepalm]

[It's going to be a little odd training under a combat instructor with a sense of humour after training under her father for so long, but Hanabi finds she doesn't mind it. It's helping her to relax, even with talking about kidnappers.]

Too bad all criminals can't be that stupid. It would make it easier for everyone.

[Voice]

[fuckuimametalbender]

Seriously. But then there'd be no fun in kicking their asses if they were all idiots.

[Voice]

[usedforcepalm]

What if they were good at fighting, but just not very bright?

[Voice]

[fuckuimametalbender]

Nah, see, you don't want an idiot who can fight. They're unpredictable and can hurt you more than someone who isn't a moron. Big and stupid works if you just need them to sit around and be scary but actually fighting? Get someone with enough brains to know when to quit.

[Voice]

[usedforcepalm]

That makes sense. So it's better to fight someone of average intelligence, so they won't do anything reckless, but they won't be able to figure out a clever strategy to beat you, either.

[Voice]

[fuckuimametalbender]

Basically!

[Toph likes this kid]

Now if only the world would get with the program and make our lives easier.

[Voice]

[usedforcepalm]

Maybe they can just mind their own business and leave us alone. Or maybe learn the difference between groups like the Brotherhood and a bunch of kids at a school for mutants.