xavier_institute | Video | Big fat Polish-Italian mutant gay wedding

[Honestly, there isn’t that much of a difference to how Feliks and Fai would normally present themselves on the network together. The former is draped over the latter’s lap, and Fai is distractedly fussing with Feliks’ hair. Nothing out of the ordinary for the very best of friends, really, apart from how they are possibly looking even more smug than usual.

Still, their announcement won’t be news to many. Fai is the one who begins speaking, smiling slyly with an evident hint of self-humor.]

So, in case you have been living under a rock or possibly really don’t care about the love life of your teachers - shocking, I know - me and Feliks would like to formally make it known that we are getting married.

[Feliks, who already looked pretty impossibly pleased, has to take a second to compose himself, because just hearing Fai say that still sort of makes him sort of melt a little.]

Yeah, totally! So like, I guess consider this your save the date. And your invite? Since you’re all invited, duh.

--Oh, right! The date. April 7th. So you have 5 weeks to find something fierce enough to wear to our wedding without dying of shame!

[Just look at these insufferably happy and ridiculous bastards. Fai gently flicks Feliks’ cheek with a finger, laughing.]

It will be here, by the way - this way we can make sure as few of you as possible will have an excuse for staying away. The ceremony will start at 10 am, so we even have a set time like proper adults.

Oh, and since it is still pretty quick? Anyone who wants to help out is incredibly welcome to it.

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You really only have two speeds, don't you. Idle and full throttle. About time you finally switched gear. Uh, congratulations on that by the way. I'm sure you'll be disgustingly happy together.

And if there's anything I can do to help with the wedding stuff, I guess I'm volunteering for it.

Well, I would say that waiting six years with getting married is not exactly going very fast, right? I mean, the fact that we weren't together during those six years is just a minor detail.

[They had still been in love, after all. That's the important part.]

I was going to ask you about help with the more official invitations, actually.

[She rolls her eyes at him and at his Fai-logic.]

Minor detail or not I'm pretty sure that proposing the minute you start dating and then waiting less than two month to get married still counts as moving fast.

[Them being idiots about it for forever is no excuse.]

Help how? I'm not much of a wordsmith.

Trust me, wanting to marry someone since you're seventeen means you don't want to have to date a day longer. And we've been in love and best friends for all that time, it's basically like being together.

[To be fair, they really have been acting like they're together.]

And I was thinking you could draw something for them? Invitations always look more personal that way.

Considering I think about half the school actually thought you actually were you might have a point there. So basically your idle is in fact also full throttle only held back by obtuseness?

[Keeping the bickering up is a lot easier than trying to express that what he just asked her is simultaneously making her feel pleased and flattered together with a healthy does of oh-my-god-what-if-I-screw-this-up-panic. It's probably pretty obvious anyway.]

Sure, I can try. [Deep breaths. The trick is deep breaths.] Did you have anything specific in mind? Feliks in his fairy-tail dress and you as the beast- I mean prince charming?

Pretty much! [So cheerful about it, too.] I mean, over Christmas I think we managed to kiss under the mistletoe and still tried to act all platonic about it, so I think "obtuseness" is a fairly accurate description.

[And oh yes, Fai can tell, and his voice softens a bit.]

Do your best, I'm sure it will be brilliant. I wouldn't ask if I didn't believe that. And I was thinking something a bit fairy tale inspired, yes. I'll gladly bounce some ideas back and forth.

Seriously? [You guys are worse than she thought.] If I ever develop feelings for anyone [Which is never going to happen, but still hypothetically...] I hope I've managed to learn from you.

Yeah well, you're weird so... [She ducks her head and hides her face behind her hair, because that is sure to hide her embarrassment. Or make her suddenly able to fly. Both options seem equally probable.] Do the two of you have any favorite tale in common? Or were you thinking a little bit more generally?

You mean you hope you've learned how not to do it, right? [He laughs.] Well, as long as you're learning, I suppose I am doing my job as a teacher.

[...Fai, that is not that it works, usually. But that doesn't seem to bother him.]

I may be weird, but I have good taste. [He taps his cheek thoughtfully.] And I think I was thinking a bit more generally. Just to play on the whole "reality warper marrying a perception manipulator" thing, you know?

"If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to be a horrible warning." Is that it? At least you got it down to a science. [See what she did there?]

And I think so? Sort of fairy-tale feeling without actually being one?

Ooooh, that's not very nice of you. [A beat.] I will have you know that I am a perfectly charming and lovely warning, and you kids should count yourselves lucky to have me.

[Look at him nodding excitedly and bouncing in his seat. ~~He is Doge. It is him.~~]

Exactly like that. Fairly simple shapes, since it will be printed on a card, but very... Fantasia, that sort of thing.

[She rolls her eyes.] It's from a book. I'm sure there isn't a student here that isn't delighted to have you as their teacher. And if they claim otherwise that probably just means they're too shy to admit it.

[Jokes aside she is pretty happy to have him as her teacher. Even if it's still unbelievably weird.]

Well, like I said, I'll try. How big are we talking?

Doesn't make it less rude. And of course they are. That, or they just don't understand how much fun setting fire to the dustbin occasionally really is.

[He laughs like the smug prick he is, but there is definitely a hint of warmth and fondness there.]

Oh, not very big. Something like this. [He demonstrates by making a rectangle with his hands.] It should fit nicely in an envelope, see?

It think that might be what's called an acquired taste. And just because it's a bit rude doesn't mean it isn't true.

[She squints a bit at the shape.]

Okay. And then there's text too, right? Do you have that all done already? Since that is also going to take up a bit of space.

Video | Big fat Polish-Italian mutant gay wedding

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