Feliks Ćukasiewicz (
niepokonany) wrote in
xavier_institute2014-09-08 07:12 pm
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Second Daydream [Mass Text, 3:12 AM on Monday morning] [CW: legal but irresponsible alcohol use]
do you ever think like
no wait
thats a major downer never mind
does anybody like wanna watch a movie
im way bored
and i dnot wanna do it alone
living in a single actually kinda sucks
i mean i know we have class tomorrow and junk
[He doesn't have any morning ones, and he's probably STILL going to be hung over for the first one.]
but like
idk
if anyones up and junk
i might even let you pick the movie if you dont pick something boring and lame
no wait
thats a major downer never mind
does anybody like wanna watch a movie
im way bored
and i dnot wanna do it alone
living in a single actually kinda sucks
i mean i know we have class tomorrow and junk
[He doesn't have any morning ones, and he's probably STILL going to be hung over for the first one.]
but like
idk
if anyones up and junk
i might even let you pick the movie if you dont pick something boring and lame
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I just, like, got carried away a little? Like after a while there wasn't much left in the bottle, so I figured, like, why not finish it?
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I'm sorry if you feel pressured. I'm just worried, you know?
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It's seriously not a big deal. You don't have to be, ok?
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[Let's try this again, a little more honestly. Lying isn't really something he's... any good at at all, when the chips aren't really and truly down.]
What I mean is, it's like, not something you need to be worried about. 'Cause I'm gonna be fine, ok?
[That, at least, he can muster up some conviction for. He's going to be fine. Always, no matter what.]
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[He played with his hair a little, not really in the mood to drink coffee.]
It's nothing new, and it's nothing I'm not stronger than. I just... kinda have to get used to it again, you know?
[He had a little break from remembering how much unrequited love sucked, and he needed to just... kick it out of his mind again.]
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As if! You need a relationship to have that, right?
[He's really not doing that great a job of keeping his emotions off of his face, though.
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I mean, there's nothing wrong with being single!
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["Dating", for Feliks, is a word which has thus far meant occasionally going on blind dates that people set him up on, and turning every one that asked him for a second date down for reasons like "seemed nice and funny and all, but I didn't like his shirt" or "he smiled at me funny" or "talked about too much boring stuff". Really any reason, since he just plain wasn't interested if it wasn't Fai.]
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In my case, it's partially dealing with the expectations of others. You know I've always been terrible at that. But with you... I feel like your solution could be pretty easy if you'd just let it.
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That's not the same and you know it. The more you put the issue on a pedestal of impossibility, the more it really does become impossible.
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I mean... things are fine the way they are, ok?
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... If you're going to get that drunk again, at least find me first.
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