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[whosafraidofthe]

So… this is going to be an awkward introduction.

[Enter a big scruffy man on the comm, looking pretty meek for how gruff and manly his appearance is. And then he clears his throat, and the authority kicks in.]

My name is Bigby Wolf, and I’m a combat trainer here for the older kids starting this semester. A little higher level than what Beifong's teaching, but it should be easy to pick up. Some of you may already know me as, uh… [He hesitates a bit.] …The Big Bad Wolf. And there are a lot of rumors circling because of that, but I assure you I wouldn’t get a position here unless Xavier trusted me. He especially wouldn’t let me near kids if he thought I was still…

[Eating them. He rubs the back of his neck awkwardly.]

Let’s see, what can I tell you… I was a sheriff over in District X until I came here, so I’ve got plenty of experience catching criminals. Even caught a few of… well, I guess around here you call ‘em supervillains. I guess you could kind of call me one of those two… or an ex-villain, at least.

[A nervous chuckle ends in him popping out a carton of Huff’n’Puffs and lighting himself a cigarette.] I understand a lot of people are going to be nervous around me, I’m not going to stop them from voicing complaints. But the class is optional, so you don’t have to be near me if you don’t want to be. For whatever reason.

Comments

[whosafraidofthe]

...I thought it made me sound cool.

And I just... don't shave often.

[Why is he indulging this kid? Even he's not sure.]

[niepokonany]

I mean, if I can take the time to wax my legs? You can do something about your face.

[Because the power of Feliks's sass compels him?]

[whosafraidofthe]

[.................]

...You wax your legs?

Why?

[niepokonany]

Um, because skirts?

And shaving takes way longer 'cause you have to do it more often!

[whosafraidofthe]

....I guess I don't have an argument against that.

But the beard is gonna stay. I've got better things to do than worry about what I look like.

[Spoilers he looks like he never sleeps. Which is true.]

[niepokonany]

So you know you like basically just admitted you know you look sketchy as Hell, right?

What kind of things?

[whosafraidofthe]

I do look sketchy, but it doesn't really bother me.

Uh... hmm... [Important wolf business?] Well, lesson plans and... sleeping...

[niepokonany]

...Right. [Yes, that should certainly leave you too busy for like a minute of hygiene.]

I'm just saying, you're gonna get more students if you don't look like you're legally required to tell everyone in the neighborhood when you move in in 43 states.

[whosafraidofthe]

[...He's starting to feel some honesty would get Feliks off his case.]

Technically I am legally required to tell everyone when I move in. But I didn't when I came to Manhattan. And I've been living in the same area for years now, and ended up as the sheriff, so it's not a new thing... in case you didn't notice I am warning everyone in advance that I am... who I am.

[niepokonany]

[Well, it shuts him up for a second, at least.]

...So what did you do?

[whosafraidofthe]

[Let's see, what's the best way to word this?]

Have you read the fairytales about the Big Bad Wolf?

...There's a reason for the nickname.

[niepokonany]

You dress up in old ladies' clothes?

[Sorry, distracted by that mental image.]

[whosafraidofthe]

Well, that one didn't happen exactly- I mean it was- that's not the point.

I ate a few people. Or... a lot actually. They were my main source of food for a while. That's why there's controversy in me being here.

[niepokonany]

...And you're teaching what?

[Curse the part of him that thinks 'culinary arts'. Curse it so much.]

[whosafraidofthe]

Unarmed combat. For fighting off people like me.

[Which he mumbles guiltily because he's ashamed enough without that reaction tyvm.]

[niepokonany]

...Right. Of course. Totally.

Well-- well, you'd better teach right after breakfast or lunch!

[whosafraidofthe]

I don't eat people anymore.

[Which sounds so terrible and he knows it.]

I've already explained this before, several times to many people.... Besides, Chinese food is tastier.

[And screams less but he doubts that comment would help with this particular person.]

[niepokonany]

...Was that like racist?

[No, Feliks. No, it wasn't.]

I'm way too skinny to eat, anyway!

[whosafraidofthe]

[...Well he's succeeded. His beard is no longer being insulted. Go Bigby.]

I was thinking more along the line of noodles than people. That and whiskey are way better than humans.

[niepokonany]

[This is INSUFFICIENT CONSOLATION for Feliks, whose thoughts are beginning to run away with him in spite of what Bigby is saying.]

--I mean like, I eat a lot of like beets and stuff so I probably taste weird anyway. And I'm pretty much skin and bones! See?!

[He stands up. Better protest if you want that bathrobe staying on, man.]

[whosafraidofthe]

[Oh god. Teacher voice activate.]

Hey! Either sit down or grab your robe, I don't need to see that.

[niepokonany]

[He calms down a little at the teacher voice, but "a little" means from "near hysterics" to "super uncomfortable and nervous."]

...If you ever try to eat me, I seriously won't hold back! You'll be walking funny for weeks, and I'm too little to be worth eating!

[whosafraidofthe]

[He really doesn't have the patience for this. He is trying his absolute hardest not to say "it's okay, I usually go for people smaller than you".]

I'm not going to eat you. I'm part of the law enforcement back in Manhattan. And Xavier trusts me, alright? The guy can read minds, he would know if I was coming here for snacks.

[niepokonany]

[...He trusts Xavier. He trusts Xavier more, perhaps, than he's trusted any authority figure in all his life who wasn't a man of God.]

[But he doesn't trust this new guy -- new people are a bit of a challenge for him at the best of times, and he's just... he's upset.]

[He quiets down, but instead just sits on his bed in his bathrobe, staring him down suspiciously.]

[whosafraidofthe]

[He just responds with a concerned look. He's not sure how he messed up this badly but he's very sorry.]