1st Shot - [video]

[blackdarjeeling]

[Al hasn't finished unpacking yet. This is about the only telling information from what's on the screen, when he flicks his phone's camera on, sometime shortly after the end of classes: one of the Mansion's bedrooms set aside for faculty, suitcases and boxes tossed on the unmade bed, with the man himself tossing one arm idly over the back of a chair. The desk in front of him is likewise cluttered with papers, folders, a shot glass, and a dark, half-emptied liquor bottle.

Only half of the bottle's label is visible on screen, that portion of the text reading "RITTENH."]

Guess I gotta introduce myself all over again, huh?

Name's Al Swearengen. Owner and proprietor of Gem, finest joint in the City for any mutant who prefers to drink among their own kind.

Come the start of the new year, I'm also gonna be this place's armed combat instructor. Did something similar for a while, before the Sentinels torched it, years back. This time around, I'll be teaching those interested and capable how to handle themselves around a loaded gun...or knife or whatever else some Friends of Humanity cocksucker decides to come at you with.

[He...really doesn't even seem to register that his choice of words just then might not have been entirely classroom appropriate.]

I hope it goes without saying, that'll mean learning to handle all those weapons yourselves, too.

But, since I'm told it's late in the year for making new courses official - even ones that're gonna keep you from getting fucking killed - until next semester I'll be just be doing "tutorials." [The air-quotes are audible there.] On gun safety, for the most part. Those're mandatory for anyone keen on taking the real thing, 'cause I don't like to repeat myself. And 'cause I'll be using that time to divide up those interested into an introductory and advanced class, based on how you handle yourselves.

[That's all the actual information he needed to get across, so he shrugs, screws open his bottle, and pours himself a shot. It's not far past 3 P.M., and Al Swearengen is simply the best role model.]

That's all I've got for today. Any questions, feel free to direct'em to my faculty e-mail.

[Which he (a) does not include and (b) intends to avoid checking, ideally, for at least the rest of the week! Just asking directly might be a little more straightforward!]

Comments

[video]

[defibrillating]

...if I have to start treating bullet and stab wounds I'm gonna need a raise.

[He's joking. Maybe. It's hard to tell with that robotic translator voice.

Also geeze swearing and drinking in front of the kids?!]

Welcome, though. I'm Zian Mardovich, the school nurse.

[blackdarjeeling]

That's what the "safety" part of the class is for. Not sayin' I'm making any guarantees, but...

[Al shrugs, gives the figure on his screen a thoroughly neutral look, and knocks back his drink.]

I'd think you'd prefer handling a few cuts and holes, now, to dealing with corpses later.

[defibrillating]

Yes. Very much.

...well, I suppose it's easier to heal than wounds from laser eye beams, too

[He still doesn't approve, but hey. Things are already bad, maybe the kids needed to defend themselves.]

[blackdarjeeling]

Generally speaking, easier to avoid those, too, if properly armed.

Give it a few months, and see if I ain't saved you more work than I've created before you start complaining.

[defibrillating]

Alright, fair enough. Infirmary is number 3 on the intercom, just in case.

[blackdarjeeling]

First kid who shoots a toe off, I'll know to send them your way.

[He's kidding! Probably.]

[defibrillating]

[You're gonna make him fret forever, Al.]

...thanks.

[seduceme]

Do we get to 'ave a closer look at 'ow you 'andle your 'gun' then?

[Co-workers are terrible here.]

[blackdarjeeling]

Teaching by demonstration's about the only way I know how.

[The way Al quirks one eyebrow is enough to say he didn't miss the innuendo there. It doesn't quite go the rest of the way to acknowledging it, though.]

Knifework's normally more my taste, but the Prof. wanted a "more thorough curriculum."

[More air-quotes. He had to get a class syllabus approved and everything. It was horrible.]

[seduceme]

Knifework as well? A man after my own 'eart. If you ever need a partner for demonstration work, feel free to give me a call.

[Poor man, having to join the rest of them in their suffering.]

[blackdarjeeling]

Don't think they'd appreciate me demonstrating on anything that's still breathing.

But I'll put you on the list, if I need a second hand, Miss...?

[He trails off, leaving space open for a name.]

[seduceme]

Desrosiers. You can call me Christelle. [Winks.]

[blackdarjeeling]

Ms. Desrosiers.

[Al's pronunction of the French name is kind of terrible, but he makes a careful effort at it? Or maybe it's the effort that's making it terrible.]

Hope I won't be stepping on any toes, coming in then. Can't say I had the patience to leaf through the entire course catalog before working up my plans.

[Or, more precisely, any of it.]

So, I suppose I may be liable for some overlap in subject areas, with you or the rest of the faculty.

[seduceme]

Unless you plan to teach French and Spanish, I 'ave no quarrel with you, monsieur.

[blackdarjeeling]

So, the knife-work's more of an extracurricular? Or a way to put the fear of God in kids who botch their conjugations.

[That joke's not even particularly sarcastic, which may be a first for Al today.]

[seduceme]

More of a personal skill that often comes in 'andy. You should see my gun collection too.

[whosafraidofthe]

Nice language, Al.

[At least he's (smugly) entertained.]

I think I'll be hanging around for those tutorials, if that's alright with you. Just in case anyone needs my help.

[blackdarjeeling]

Xavier requested I try and keep it civil for the middle-school set.

[Oh, sorry, was that not a serious compliment? Al totally didn't notice. (That's a lie, he noticed.)

He frowns, pausing halfway through lifting his shot-glass.]

And if it ain't alright by me? Kids get jumpy enough already, between the hormones and the threat of live ammunition. I don't need'em thinking they're being sized up for lunch-hour on top of that.

[whosafraidofthe]

[He snorts. Well, he hasn't been doing great with keeping things PG-13 either, but he tries.]

Well, don't get your panties in a knot. No one's gonna be taking you up on that offer if they can't stand an hour or two around a dangerous criminal and a few guns.

[Of course he doesn't mean anything by it, look at this pleasant smile on his face. 100% innocent.]

[blackdarjeeling]

All the same, I'd prefer to keep the classroom a controlled space. Volatile enough around here already, gotta keep a close handle on things.

[Al's smile back is not even particularly strained or displeased. Implying that his class needs outside supervision pisses him off, but calling him a dangerous criminal is just sort of true.]

I'll let you know when it'd be good for you to drop by.

[The sarcasm there is overt. Bigby might not want to wait by the phone.]

[theveilisin]

[For all that Luvander isn't interested in fighting people as such anymore, there is also that whole business with the school getting attacked. It pays to keep being prepared.]

I've got a small question, if you don't mind? [If he minds or not, Luvander is going to keep going.] I've got a fair amount of experience with firearms already, so I don't think a this tutorial of yours might not be very helpful. But since they're mandatory, I suppose I will have to find myself agreeable, provided you don't mind having some insufferable little know-it-all around who is mostly interested in practice?

[blackdarjeeling]

[Al frowns. Deeply.]

Depends. Are you capable of shutting your mouth and following directions, or is the 'insufferable' bit more of a constant?

[theveilisin]

[Luvander is generally speaking a fairly honest person, for all that he can sometimes talk around the truth, so the question gets a rueful little laugh in return.]

Well, the good news is I am very good at following directions. The shutting my mouth part is something I'm rather tragically bad at, though I could definitely do my very best, just for you.

[blackdarjeeling]

That ain't inspiring a wealth of confidence, kid.

[Christ, he can just smell that this one's going to be a pain in his ass, and they're talking through a fucking computer screen.]

Let me try and keep things succinct for you. The point of these tutorials is to make sure I can trust everyone I teach not to go and splatter the classroom walls with some other kid's brains, 'cause they're too unstable or reckless or fucking dense to be trusted with live ammunition.

So, if you want to show up, you'll do the same lessons as the rest of the group until I say otherwise. Complaining and yapping on needlessly won't help your case.

That all clear enough for you?

[theveilisin]

[The small diatribe makes Luvander laugh, and he holds up his hands in a disarming gesture.]

Trust me, sir, I am in fact a great fan of gun safety. For one, I've seen people shoot themselves in the feet a couple of times too many already, and I didn't relish it even the first time around. And secondly, since I'm usually the on the spot healer on such occasions, and owing to the nature of my healing powers, it doesn't actually matter who gets hurt, because I'm still going to end up feeling it.

So I appreciate the need for such exercises, is what I'm saying, even if I'm pretty sure that I'm rather well rehearsed in it. You have my solemn word that not a single word of complaint will pass my lips - I'll only prattle on about completely unrelated things.

[video]

[vermis]

Could you please watch your language on posts that are accessible to the students?

[video]

[blackdarjeeling]

What, did my getting a point across offend your delicate sensibilities?

[Al snorts, exasperated.]

I'm gonna guess most of the kids here have heard worse, unless they grew up in a fucking plastic bubble. They've got worse out there to fret over than my mouth.

[video]

[vermis]

I'm not offended, but I'm concerned. That's not an acceptable term.

Your guessing isn't good enough. You can speak however you like in private, but this is a public feed, viewable by even the younger children.

Just because there are worse things, that doesn't mean it's not important.

[blackdarjeeling]

Well, pardon the fuck out of me. Which bit of my language did you not find "acceptable," so I can improve my manners next time around?

'Cause Christ knows I wouldn't wanna come off as uncivil while I'm trying to teach this bunch how not to get their brains bashed in.

[Video]

[niepokonany]

[Feliks tilts his head thoughtfully, seeming totally unphased by the drinking, swearing, and violence alike. While he hasn't met Al in person before, he's dropped by Gem once or twice in the past two years -- his relatively high profile in the local mutant community and the fact that a mutant bar is more aware that other bars you might be using a superpower on your fake ID meant he didn't manage to get in before then.]

God, it's been ages since I dropped by there... I should totally go check it out again sometime!

So what gets you into the advanced class?

[He's not a gun owner, but he's active with the X-men, so he's got a miscellany of supervillain-thwarting experience, and at least knows the very basics...]

[blackdarjeeling]

Best joint in the city for a mutant to knock one back amongst his own. And always enough of a crowd we don't get many patrons leaving on their lonesome.

[Possibly it is bad teacher ethics to imply that your business is a great place to hook-up with strangers, especially to a potential student. Just maybe!

Al wouldn't know, though. Not his subject area. He shrugs.]

Knowing how to handle yourself and not pissing me off would be the two foremost criteria. Anyone I don't feel I can trust to use their head and anyone who doesn't have a tight handle on all the basics ain't getting in.

[niepokonany]

[Feliks laughs the laugh of someone deeply embarrassed with a terrible (but enthusiastic!) poker face.]

Um, yeah, there's usually a pretty good crowd, huh?

Anyway! I don't think I've pissed you off yet, and I've done a lot of different combat classes and X-man missions here, so...

[blackdarjeeling]

We got something or somebody for anyone who walks in. Flatscans excepted, as a general rule.

[Al very charitably doesn't mock that unconvincing laugh. Feliks has found the one way to get some consideration out of him: be a potential customer.]

You ever actually fired a gun on any of those missions, or are you more the brute strength and fisticuffs type?

[niepokonany]

I mean, you have vodka, right? That's something for me!

[That laugh, at least, is more comfortable and real.]

Do I look like the brute strength type?

[Seriously. He's like 5 feet tall. He's built like a petite teenage girl.]

I'm kind of more the "whatever there is on hand" type, if I have to be a type. So yeah, once or twice!

[Just not usually at people, and never with intent to kill. The point is, he basically knows how to!]