If I took a life, then it's murder. I'm not like that other guy. I'm not going to say I couldn't help myself, or I was a monster. It was my fault. If not for me, they'd still be alive. It doesn't matter if I chose it or not! And if... I did it, it's even worse, because I knew them. They didn't deserve to die.

[He's not even exactly sure who, if anyone, he might have killed. The people he didn't see again could have been staying away in fear. But he can't help but believe the worst.]

But I am going to kill those other people! As a human!

[Just so you're clear on that.]