Spark 02: text only

[realmenknitplushies]

Hi. Got a question. It's more for people who've been here longer, but if anyone's got advice, it's cool.

Can't really believe I'm asking this, but - does anyone have any ideas for what to do when you miss your family? I try to talk to ma, but it doesn't always work. And I can't just keep ringing home.

[Yeah, if anyone's seen Kanji shouting into a phone, that's what he means by 'doesn't work'.]

I mean, I'm alright. It's not a big deal overall. But any tips?

Comments

[frigokinetic]

[Oh.]

[Well, this post hurt in a lot of ways Elsa really wasn't expecting.]

I am... notoriously bad at speaking with family, myself.

But I think that you should always let them know you love them. Even if you just write a letter every so often.

[realmenknitplushies]

I try. I'm not much good at talking to her. Never have been.

[He was never much good at talking to dad, either, something that still gets at him to this day...]

But letters, huh. I guess that could work.

[frigokinetic]

Sometimes you can express yourself better in words on a page, because you have plenty of time to think before you write them.

I write letters to my sister sometimes.

[Well, actually, she's been writing letters to her sister for years... she's only just now begun sending them.]

[presto_turn]

When I start missing home, I always try to spend time doing something that would've relaxed me if I was back there. Or just something that reminds me of it.

[There's a short break between messages as Shindou tries to work out just what to say. This is the kind of subject he's had more experience with than he'd like to admit.]

Sometimes it's easier to check in by e-mail, too, if you don't feel up to phoning.

[realmenknitplushies]

You do?

And that makes sense. Hell, I guess I kind of wrote this for that kind of reason.

[Well, and he didn't want to show his face on camera asking something so wussy.]

[realmenknitplushies]

Things that remind you of home? Yeah, that makes sense. I do try and find time to do those kind of things when I can, but man, it's kind of hard sometimes.

E-mail makes sense too.

[presto_turn]

I think it starts to get easier once you've settled in some. Even after you get to know everyone, it's still a new place, so...

Do you think you'll be able to go back home on breaks? Thanksgiving here isn't that far off, even if it's just a weekend.

[realmenknitplushies]

Well, it's not the first time I've moved. I kind of know the routine. It just sucks being on my own.

Forgot about Thanksgiving. Huh. Probably depends how much the plane fare is. But man, I really don't like flying.

[frigokinetic]

Yes. We didn't speak when I was younger, and then I left for America.

So letters are really my best option.

[She knows about this "Skype" thing that people have on computers, but modern technology is a bit unfamiliar for her - especially in the dosage that Americans receive.]

[realmenknitplushies]

I kind of get that feeling.

What sort of things do you write about? If I'm okay asking.

[frigokinetic]

Well, I talk about how it is here, because she wants to know everything, always. Particularly about the food and culture. I ask about how she's doing back home; she had just met her boyfriend at the time, so I ask about him (they're still together)...

Things like that.

[text]

[knighterrantofthedragon]

I'm sorry to hear you've had difficulty acclimating, although I can certainly understand it. I can only really speak to my own experience, but some thoughts:

I've found that make certain I have some space of my own--places I can go and feel settled-in, that is--particularly helps with the feeling of being displaced, or disconnected.

Aside from my obligations, I try to keep up on news from home, and keep my family informed about my own situation. My parents, in particular, are easiest to speak to when I've started off by sharing even minor pieces of good news; friendships I've begun to form, for example, or even simply that I'm in good health. They rather like when I have some direct question for them--I've found parents especially like to feel useful, even more so when they're far away. In contrast, I find it rather easier to write to my brother than to speak to him, but we've always had some difficulty speaking to one another.

Besides that, I try to surround myself with things from home. My guitar, for example, and other things of sentimental value, so as not to feel quite so distant, if that makes sense. Hopefully all that's of some help.

[realmenknitplushies]

Huh. Yeah, those all make sense. Sounds like you've got a lot to write about.

Re: [text]

[realmenknitplushies]

[Man, that's a lot of info. Hmm...]

Huh. Hadn't thought about the 'space of my own' thing. It's the first time I've had to share a room and I guess it really isn't helping. I don't really feel like I can stretch out and be myself much, or really put everything I have from home out where I can look at it.

I might try and write or email ma. When we talk on the phone I'm never sure what to say. And ask questions? That could work.

Re: [text]

[knighterrantofthedragon]

If you can't have your room to yourself, you might try exploring a little and finding some other space, and spend some time there. A corner in the garden, a spot in the library, someplace you can think of as your own, in some way. Perhaps it wouldn't be as good a place to display personal effects, but it helps me, at least, to have a place to feel grounded.

Re: [text]

[realmenknitplushies]

[Well, he knows about finding places to ground himself - just most of the time it's a spot more literal.]

Yeah, that does make sense. It's just trying to find a good spot, I guess? Things can be so busy sometimes.
But it's definitely going to be worth a look.

[presto_turn]

I know saying it like this doesn't help, but the feeling like you're on your own part goes away. For most people, at least, if you give it time.

Sorry, that's not even advice, is it?

[video]

[kickstart_my_heart]

It's hard for me... I'm a runaway and all. I still love my family. But I feel like if I start missing them too much, I'll ruin everything.

text

[kamiizumi]

I think about what they want for me and why I'm here, mostly.

[Audio]

[the_prodigal_son]

Playing video games helps.

[Not that he really misses his real parents, he never knew them well. But he misses the fake parents from his fake memories. Video games are a good distraction from that.]

Re: [Audio]

[realmenknitplushies]

Yeah, not a bad idea. I've just never been that good at them.

Sticking with text replies:

[realmenknitplushies]

Runaway? Huh. Yeah, I see how that's going to be hard...

Re: text

[realmenknitplushies]

Makes sense. I mean, we both agreed this was the best thing for me.

[realmenknitplushies]

Not really. And I know it's going to get better. It's just right now.

Re: [text]

[knighterrantofthedragon]

Well, what sort of spots did you gravitate toward, at home?

Myself... since I was a child, I'd climb the trees around my family's estate. I've been getting acquainted with the trees around here, as well. It's not quite the same, but I've always found the limbs of a tree a comforting place. Perhaps there's something analogous for you, as well? Even if other people think it's peculiar, so long as you can go there and feel that you're in your own space.